Jerry Green

Ziggy and the bluebottle

16/06/2012 21:12 - East Yorkshire

Ziggy writes...

I had a bad day last Sunday..

First of all one of my people went out without me.

Well, I thought they’d BOTH gone, so there I was staring out of the window and I was really surprised when a voice said “Ziggy whatever are you doing on the table?”

After a while he went out as well and I knew for certain that I’d got the house to myself — except for a bluebottle.

I don’t like flies of any sort. They make me cross when they settle on me and I do my very best to catch them by jumping and snapping, but this bluebottle was something else. BZZZZZZ it went as it kept banging into the window. BZZZZZZ.

So I couldn’t help myself when a sort of red mist came down and I HAD to catch it. I promise you that I didn’t know that I’d pulled a net curtain down in the dining room — or that I’d torn some wallpaper.

The wretched thing flew upstairs and I raced after it. I’m sorry now about the tray of tomato seedlings on a windowsill and I do understand that it made quite a mess, but I still couldn’t catch the bluebottle.

It went back downstairs into the kitchen. BZZZZZZZ.

The kitchen worktop is quite high, but I’m a big dog and I was on a mission, so I had no trouble getting up there. I didn’t mean to put my foot in a bowl of water in the sink or knock anything over and I can’t really understand why anyone would object to two pairs of glasses floating in the sink.

The bluebottle (I think it was getting worried by now) made for the glass in the back door. I tried really hard to reach it but all I succeeded in doing was scratching some paint (I’m told it was a great deal of paint) off the door. I don’t know how it happened but I suddenly found that I’d dug up the carpet by the back door and the bluebottle had vanished.

Then I heard a car pull up, the red mist disappeared and I started thinking about the treat that I always get when she comes home.

I didn’t get a treat.

To start with she couldn’t get in the door (something to do with the carpet apparently) and when she did finally get in you’ve never heard anything like the fuss she made. “Oh Ziggy what’ve you done?  You’ve never done anything like this before and you’ve only been alone for half an hour!”

It got worse when he came home. Evidently he hadn’t planned on doing decorating in the afternoon.

I couldn’t explain to them what had happened, but a bit later on the b....y bluebottle reappeared and I went a bit mad again — so now they know and the house is festooned with industrial quantities of fly paper.

It’s not all bad though (actually I think this was the only bad thing). We went on holiday and it was GREAT. All we did was walk!

Love to everyone




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